What keeps you upright
Life is mostly steering while wobbling a little
I forgot how hard it is to start a bike from a complete stop.
Not riding one. Starting one.
That first push is always heavier than I remember it being. You press down on the pedal, the handlebars wobble a little, your balance hasn’t fully caught up yet, and for a second it feels like maybe your body forgot how this works.
Then momentum takes over.
And suddenly you’re moving again without thinking about every tiny part of it.
I thought about that recently because I think a lot of life works exactly the same way.
People talk about moving forward like it should feel smooth all the time. Like once you know where you’re going, the rest is just effort and discipline and very organized calendars. But most movement feels much messier than that.
Sometimes you’re pedaling hard uphill wondering if you accidentally chose the steepest possible route for no reason.
Sometimes the ride feels easy and the air is cool and your legs barely have to work at all.
And sometimes you stop pedaling completely and still move forward for a while.
That part always feels a little magical to me.
You spend all this effort building momentum, and then suddenly the bike carries you. The wheels keep turning on their own. The chain hums softly. The whole thing keeps moving even though you stopped forcing it forward every second.
I don’t think humans give themselves enough credit for that kind of momentum.
Not everything carrying you today was built today.
Some of it came from older versions of you.
The version that kept trying even when progress was slow. The version that practiced something long enough for it to become instinct. The version that rested when they needed to. The version that loved people well. The version that survived things they were convinced would flatten them completely.
Momentum is a strange thing because once it exists, it keeps helping you after the original effort is over.
You are probably being carried right now by things you already built.
Old kindness.
Old courage.
Old attempts.
Old habits.
Old healing.
Sometimes life carries you for a few blocks after the effort stops.
I need that reminder more than I’d like to admit.
Because I can be very intense about movement. Very “pedal harder and surely that will solve everything” about life. Which occasionally works, to be fair. But not always.
Sometimes you pedal too hard for too long and the chain comes off.
You wake up tired and somehow stay tired for three months. Small tasks start feeling weirdly heavy. You stop enjoying things you normally like. You become emotionally exhausted by emails. Someone asks how you’re doing and you consider moving to another country instead of answering honestly.
And eventually you realize the bike needs attention.
Not because you failed at riding it. Because things that move constantly need maintenance.
That feels important to say.
I think a lot of people secretly believe they should be able to keep going indefinitely without adjusting anything. No rest. No repair. No slowing down. Just endless pedaling forever like you’re a Tour de France participant.
But bikes don’t work like that.
Tires lose air slowly.
Chains need oil.
Brakes wear down.
Things loosen over time.
Humans do too.
Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is stop riding for a minute and flip the bike upside down in the driveway to figure out what’s making that weird clicking sound.
I’m trying to get better at noticing problems before the whole ride becomes difficult.
Because usually there are signs.
You start overcorrecting constantly. Small things throw you off balance more than they normally would. Everything feels bumpier. You’re technically still moving, but it’s taking twice the effort it should.
And sometimes the answer is not “push harder.”
Sometimes the answer is just simple.
You have a flat tire.
That realization alone could save people years.
Not every difficult season is proof you’re lazy or broken or failing at life. Sometimes something just needs air again.
Sometimes you’ve been carrying too much uphill for too long.
Sometimes the chain came off.
And honestly, one of the most underrated skills in life might be learning how to stop without turning the stop into a moral failure.
Because stopping is part of riding too.
You stop at intersections.
You stop when you’re lost.
You stop when something needs fixing.
You stop because your legs are burning.
You stop because the sunset suddenly looks unreal through the trees and continuing forward feels less important than noticing it for a minute.
None of that means the ride is over. It just means you’re participating in it.
I also think people underestimate how much steering matters compared to speed. You can pedal furiously in the wrong direction for a very long time.
I’ve done this before. Not literally, although probably literally too at some point. But emotionally.
Working hard toward things I didn’t even fully want anymore. Staying committed to versions of success that no longer fit. Continuing just because I already started.
Meanwhile life is gently trying to point out that I could turn the handlebars whenever I wanted.
That’s another strange thing about bikes.
Tiny adjustments change everything.
You don’t need giant turns constantly. Most steering is subtle. A small shift left. A slight correction right. Little movements that keep you balanced and headed somewhere that still feels like yours.
That’s probably true emotionally too.
Most lives are not changed in one huge decision. They change through smaller adjustments repeated consistently over time.
Calling someone back.
Sleeping enough.
Taking the longer route home.
Admitting something isn’t working.
Trying again after stopping for a while.
Letting yourself coast without panicking about it.
There’s wisdom in coasting, honestly.
Not quitting. Not giving up. Just allowing movement to carry you briefly instead of forcing yourself to generate forward motion every second of your existence.
I think some people feel guilty whenever they’re not actively optimizing their lives.
But bikes were built to coast too.
The wheels still turn.
The scenery still changes.
You still move.
Sometimes the most beautiful part of the ride happens when you stop pedaling long enough to actually look around.
I remember riding bikes as a kid during summer evenings when the air started cooling down and nobody wanted to go inside yet. You’d pedal hard up the hill just so you could coast all the way back down with your feet off the pedals for a few seconds, feeling completely untouchable.
No destination really.
No productivity.
Just movement for the sake of movement.
Wind in your face.
Streetlights turning on one by one.
The clicking sound the bike made while coasting downhill.
I think adults forget that feeling too easily.
Not the bike feeling specifically. The feeling of letting motion exist without needing to constantly justify it.
Maybe not every season of life needs to be an uphill climb.
Maybe some seasons are for repair.
Some are for slow rides.
Some are for learning balance again.
Some are for realizing you’re allowed to change direction.
And some are simply for coasting a little while the world carries you forward.
You are allowed to coast sometimes.
Not forever, probably. Eventually you reach another hill. Life does that.
But resting inside momentum is not failure.
It’s part of the ride.
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I’m working on a daily email called A Jar of Fireflies.
Small reminders that being alive is actually pretty amazing.
If you want to be there when it begins,
you can join the waitlist here.



This is such a great metaphor, and I love a good metaphor
Everyone talks about how humans are expected to work like machines with no breaks & constant productivity, but growing up as a machinist's daughter, I know how often machines break down & need maintenance. My dad would have had a very different life otherwise. I actually have a post drafted about this that I haven't finished yet
Awesome analogy! It reminds me of Sarah Schauers podcast on betrayal trauma and the freeze response. She compared the freeze response to a car with frozen break pads and how its dangerous to perform or drive like that. But there are methods to thaw them that can be tried before you have to leave the driveway.